Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
