oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
