did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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