Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
