we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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