Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
