I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
