Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize