Operation Purity has been aborted
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Damn victory sex feels great
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize