so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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