just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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