my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
