I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I love having hate sex.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
