he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I would ride that face into the sunset
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize