dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
