Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
