I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
