Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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