I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
