watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The convent might be a nice break from real life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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