You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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