Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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