you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
