so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
