There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
