You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you win again, gameday.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
