i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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