1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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