There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
