I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
