Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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