the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
