rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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