my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
