i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
