the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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