I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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