she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
