your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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