so explain again why im purple
no
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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