life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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