I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
love makes seman taste better
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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