is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
