Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
