She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
