Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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