Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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