ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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