I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
