I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
