WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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