Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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