"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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