What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
