actually, I'm a sock model
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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