I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
