You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I wish there were birth control emojis
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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