I molested 6 butterflies tonight
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
