Non-Jews are for practice
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
