It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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