Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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