I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You need Xanax blowdarts
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
