my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
