dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
