do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
