Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
