Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
