He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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