she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
