Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
