I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
