I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
