I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Text me some of your sweat
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize