absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
