i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
